ignited ;

I'm a fool for you.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Time and time again I keep telling myself to let you go.

Because you're not worth all this craposity, and you're not worth the pain and tears I've shed. Your words felt more like bullets in my heart. They say time heals all wounds and erases all memories, but what do they really know? Are they in my shoes this very moment? I don't think so.
When they say it's alright, did it really turn out to be all RIGHT? No. So how can they ever say that they understand how I feel, when they don't have the slightest bit of knowledge of what's going on? Sure, time heals everything, but can time erase all those bitter deep scars that's left behind? Were they well-versed with love in the first place?
At first it seems fine and oh-so-perfect; pretty soon they're in tears and regrets. Having turn back the time is an option many would prefer, but still, we have to learn from our mistakes. It's not like we have a choice anyway.
But why do we keep making the same mistakes over and over again? We have failed to see the real truth.There isn't a need for love, we just felt like we had to fulfill this desire of ours; that having someone to love or be loved is the only way to fit in. Maybe we don't realize it yet, but soon enough, time will tell.

This love I had for you; I'm letting it go.

But every time I walk out the door, I get a little closer to breaking down.

And every time I look at you, it's like my heart is on fire.

You, yes you have stolen my heart.

And you can have the rest of me.

screwed up

Friday, January 8, 2010

I needed you to be there like you said you would.
Where are you now?
I miss you. So bad that it hurts to the very core.
Yet I'm addicted to you. It's impossible being in a life without you.
Whatthepork corny shit am I saying? I'm being too gooey. Must be the nerves.
Gahhhh, get a grip!

oh-so-fabulous

Sunday, January 3, 2010

As much as I hate how this is all coming through, I can't help but to smile at myself for the accomplishments I've made in the past

Tomorrow's THE DAY. Back to school. Back to carrying bags. Back to wearing the school uniform. Back to seeing an endless list of homework, textbooks, and more books. Don't you just love the smell, sights and sounds of school? (: I'm being really sarcastic, aren't I?

Although I really really despise school, I'm somehow relieved to be back; seeing my friends again. Not having to text them and knowing I can just laugh out loud alongside them. Ah, good times, good times.

Anyway, to start off with today.
Woke up in the morning at 8-ish. But I was still sleepy, and so I tuned out again. Got up again at 10.30 AM. And it was all because of the bloody noisy neighbours at the back. I'm telling you, they're really loony ballooney nitwits, and they sound exactly like the morning market.
Received a couple of texts from V. And he's being extremely sarcastic as well, since he's out of school. Gahh, you make me feel like poop in the dumpster D;
I'm not supposed to be online, but since mum's out with her friends, I might as well just use the computer for a while.
I guess I won't be online as much as I used to be. Now that SPM's on the way. Yikes.

I miss you already (;

My life would suck without you

xoxoxo

Saturday, January 2, 2010

In 2 days, I'll be back in school with the famous baju kurung.
No more pinafores, thanks.
A month's worth of holidays just flew by and it's already another new year.
Which reminds me, HAPPY NEW YEAR dudes and dudettes :D

Since Abee has missed out on the celebration we had on the eve of new year, I've decided to give her a tiny update on what she missed out.
(You're at loss here Bee) :D
I'll skip to the aftermath of tuition.
Headed home to drop my stuff there, then got ready for the big event at DesaParkCity. There was a massive ~~hoo-haa~~ traffic jam at the entrance of DPC. So mum decided to take a walk up to the hills instead. Headed off to meet the long-lost-pallies of 2009.
Bumped into Haziq-saliva-boy-Jason-Mraz-wannabe-Faiz, and we both decided to look for the rest of the monkey circus. And what a coincidence, Joel, Joon Kiat, Zi Han, Yew Joe and some of the other monkey members butted in. So off we went to seven-eleven, and the guys decided to buy beer. Pretty soon we headed off to Kay's Cafe, right at the end of the long-stuffy balcony.
By the time I got there, I was sweating so much that I could flood the bloody restaurant.
And there was my bro, sitting there with SOJU and WHITE WINE.
Feeling jealous yet, Bee? :D
Received texts from a couple of people, including Kelly, telling me that they couldn't make it. The damn-flipping network was jammed, and I couldn't receive or make any calls or send out a bleeping text. Somehow Zi Han's phone had coverage, I took advantage of that instead.
Called the ~~twits~~ twins in case they've bailed out on me again. But oh-good-goody-giddy-goodness, they were in the parking lot, in the crowd, among thousands of people. Screamed and yelled over the phone for them to hurry up to Kay's Cafe and try out the soju.
Some 10 minutes they came over, stayed up with us, then vanished again.
Stood there with the gang for a long long long time until there was 5 minutes left for the countdown.
And that's where the shit happened. Joe began singing songs like the Negaraku anthem, Auld Lang Syne, while a couple of girls, including me, started screaming out heads off. And when countdown finally began, I'd already lost my voice. Horrible experience with the throat, but all the same, I loved it.
Fireworks were bloody awesome.
Then we started spraying each other with that snow-foam-in-a-can, and did that yam seng tradition as long as we could. Finished up all the soju and white wine. There wasn't enough, because there was only a bottle of each drink. I didn't have to fork out the money, so I won't complain :D
We hung around for a few more minutes, then paid the bill and headed downstairs. Along the way I saw my other bro, OngKee, working in Kay's Cafe as a chef. My face was blotchy red from the soju and white wine. What do you expect? It does contain 40% of alcohol. And I was half drunk, along with the mates. Sze Mei was the worst, even her eyes were red. And Joel had lost his voice, he was gagging and choking away. Some awesome experience, eh?

And Bee, it's too bad that me and JK couldn't see you in your Indian costume. Either way I'd be too drunk to notice. And flipping hell, my parents did sort of notice that I was drunk, but I passed it off as an after effect of screaming too loud. Somehow I think they knew I was drunk anyway. Walked home since it was still jammed-packed with people.

Some awesome 2009 I've had with you people. I've lived every moment and cherished every single second of it with you guys. And let's make the best out of our last year, and take on SPM with flying colours. And no matter what, we'll always be alongside each other every step of the way.

I love you all (:
Happy 2010.

obstacles

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

I'm so restless I could just run into a wall.
I'm so ~~depressed~~ emo I could eat a whole bucket of BR icecreammmm.
Suddenly I feel like I just wanna skip SPM and shoot straight to college.
If it was possible I would've been there already.
Just doing the things I love : ARTS

I'm not bragging or shit, you can justify whatever I've said;
But I love arts, and I have the talent.
And I'm damn right proud of it.
I regret taking pure science.
But I learn from my mistakes, and that's how I make better decisions.
Don't think I've got talent? Think again.

Still wanna deny?

Had a grueling 1 hour and 45 minutes of Physics today.
If I keep this up, I'll be the next blind Harry Potter with the round spectacles.
I need to study, because school is reopening in like, 4 days?
Can't wait for New Year's countdown in DPC.

tuned in to : Lifehouse - Halfway Gone

a little bit of a history ; the other day was a mystery

Monday, December 28, 2009

I realize, whenever I am in dire need of that someone, he isn't there.
But when I don't need him, there he is.
So ironic isn't it?
I bet many people are experiencing it.
But was it pure coincidence or just ~~an attempt of avoidance~~ a game of play-hard-to-get?

YOU are driving me crazy.
You are somehow the most irritating person I can't seem to get enough of.
An addiction, maybe?
YOU, you and yes, you are worth every second of my blasted life.
And yes YOU, I love you.

xo

# 71st

Sunday, December 27, 2009

I am moody );
Stupid hormones. Bleaghhh.
Bloody weather. Makes me gloomy. Bahhhh.

I was bored by just stoning at home, so I decided to go online.

But being online makes it worse.

There's noone to talk to; and looking at the screen just spoils my eyes.

Time flies by so quickly and SPM's up next. Oh the jitters!

And Santa, although it's already 2 days past Christmas, I'm still waiting for the DSLR camera I want so badly ;]

Right now I wish there was someone to talk to.

Where are you when I need you most?

; imissyou